3 Years Old

The memories of 3 years ago today are both burned into my brain and somewhat fuzzy. 3 years ago today I left for the hospital knowing you were going to be born but unaware of the circumstances. I started contracting the night before about 1am, I know I left for the hospital at 10 am and now? I was probably just being admitted after they tried to send me home because I wasn't dilated enough, by the time I walked down for an Ultrasound I had and admitted I was (thanks to my amazing OB who made them do that).

I didn't know I would labor for 19 hours with no epidural until I was 9.5 cm dilated and had back labor, I didn't know how freaking painful it would be and that it would all end with 3 hours of pushing to no avail followed by an emergency c-section. They found out you were posterior and very very stuck. Things could have been bad but I had an amazing OB who slid me in front of 2 women waiting scheduled c-sections.

Those first few months with you were the hardest thing I ever had to do, no sleep, recovering from surgery, all I wanted to do was cry until I recovered because even getting out of bed to feed you gave me so much pain. I couldn't see what a joy you were all the time because of the recovery it was that bad, but months went by the fog lifted and then there you were.

It was hard going back to work after 3 months, I worked part time but every day and with the no sleeping it sometimes made me break down in tears from exhaustion. We plowed on though and you had daddy to take care of you so at least I knew you were well taken care of.

So much we went through, so many joyous times and so many stressful ones. All those milestones, too many to even remember and we come to today. Tomorrow you will be 3 years old.

3 years old, you have a little brother and I definately did not see that one coming. You call everyone you meet "friend". You insist on dressing yourself, sometimes you wear 2 different shoes but neither me nor daddy can correct you. You are so picky about food I think my hair may be turning gray. You tell us you love us. You want to drive daddy's car. More than anything you want to run around with other kids and I hope that you get into preschool soon.

On your first birthday your grandparents from Florida came and we ate Vietnamese food in downtown Oakland. On your second birthday we had our best friends over to our home in the Valley and went to Pizza and then Mexican food for dessert and margaritas. On your third birthday we are having a nice dinner, inviting some friends over and eating cake. I wish we had a bunch of little kids to have over but we just moved here and have no one close. I am going to let you run around crazy with your brother all day, that will be my gift to you. You can cover yourself in mud, race your Cozy Coupe down the driveway and I will be out there making sure nothing goes wrong.

You are adorable. I look forward to a great year with you. I can't get enough of the way you call Cinnamon Buns "Frambones" or painting "Panking". The thing you say the most clearly is "I love you".

I love you too little Dust,

Love Mommy