Limbo

Sitting here, 5 pm and in front of me is a nice cold Mexican beer in a glass with a salted rim and a fresh lime. The boys are very docile because of their colds. The weather has been very indecisive all day, bright sun then black clouds. It is unsettling me. I can't shake the feeling of being in some kind of limbo. The weather can't make a decision, and a large number of my friends and family seem to be hanging in a place where nothing is going on but everyone is waiting for something.

I wish I knew more about stuff like cosmos and planets and their alignments and what-not. Perhaps there is some kind of an explanation for why everything seems a bit off lately. Is it just me?

Tonight a fox was digging through our compost pile and we haven't seen the fox except for the first time we moved up here. It was so beautiful and sleek and absolutely aware of us watching it.

I never discount the feeling where you think something is going to happen. One of my best friends died when she was 21 years old. She died at Burning Man. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through and I will probably do a post just on her sometime. The point of bringing her up here though is that one night about a year before she died we got to talking. I don't remember who brought it up but one of us mentioned feeling something really huge was going to happen that year. HUGE we would say to each other when we got to talking about it which got more and more frequent the closer we got to when she died. We would marvel about how we could always feel something just at our fingertips ready to happen, something we had never been through before. Then she passed and the feeling went away. I always felt that is what both her and I had been picking up on.

This feeling, this sense of limbo in the day today, I can't help but feel it is leading up to something amazing. So much went wrong last year, but it also went right. It was like waves all crashing against each other. Wild, one day black clouds and the next bright sun. It feels like things were unsettled and are starting to settle back again.

We just have to hang on, it is going to get wonderful. I just feel it.