Unbalanced

Tomorrow is another day.

Tomorrow is also, thankfully, Monday. Monday is one of my most favorite days because a whole new week stretches out in front of you, full of promise, excitement, mystery.

This week I plan to find myself again. Somewhere in the last 4 days I seemed to have misplaced "me". Instead I have found myself in front of a counter wondering where my iced coffee was as it sat under my nose. Then flash! I am wandering aimlessly in our yard wondering idly why I can't find the herbs I want to plant for sale in the places we look for them.

Do not be alarmed, this happens from time to time. I always go from periods of serious grounding to head in the clouds daydreaming. I once read a really great book on how creative minds often do this, and out of this foggy sort of haze (which can sometimes be a depression for some people) their most intense creativity can arise. This has not happened with me in the last 4 days though.

I feel more like a chicken with her head cut off, searching and searching for my head. Or perhaps a shopper in a grocery store searching so carefully for something they desperately needed to buy but can't remember what it is for the life of them.

The other day my dad and I took the boys to a rock show. It was a lot of fun and I found myself staring at a display of beautiful pendulums. My mind said to my purse, "I really need to have one of those." but the two never got it together to buy one nor could my psyche put it together why I needed one in the first place. Now, sitting here I get it.

Unfortunately this misplacing of "me" has led in a nasty fight with hubby, frustration with the boys and serious dissatisfaction with the cleanliness of our house. The deep down core Diana is more aware of her mood approaching those things.

For now, I am writing off the rest of today. I think I can hang with this pseudo self until morning. Luckily, tomorrow is a blank canvas I just might paint with bright spring flowers...or a nice fistful of dirt. We shall see.