Tiptoe

Went to bed last night and an overwhelming sense of peace washed over me. Who knows where it came from but I am so very thankful. Today is cloudy and grey and seems like the kind of day the boys and I should tiptoe through, taking our time, enjoying the birds, the trees, the flowers.
It almost seems as if some kind of response to stress on days when I am lucky enough to feel that way. There are certainly days I wish I could channel this but it seems to be somewhat beyond my control.

I should be a ball of nerves. The last few years have taken it out of us financially. We used to have so much materially, stocks, land, a home, retirement, 401K. All of it has been wiped away and we have yet to recover. We haven't been fiscally solvent in years, and are a few months from that. Today we took money out of our savings to pay rent, a lot more than we thought we would have to. It was hard but at least we had it. We always try to have enough to cover the next 1 or 2 months which we about have. I know we are lucky to have that but it still stings.

So many people are struggling. I have mentioned a lot that I grew up in the Bay Area. All of my friends are there, my family is there. Whenever I talk to them the biggest complaint is always money. I always tell them I know exactly how they feel. We felt the same way when we tried to raise Dust in Alameda. $900 a month for a 600 square foot one bedrooom apartment in a sketchy neighborhood. Groceries killed us. We split, we went to where it is cheaper. I wouldn't be completely surprised if we had some people follow us.

Who wants to think about money on a Monday morning though, right? As far as money goes we have found it comes and goes. The good thing is it usually has a tendency to come out of the blue when you most need it. This has happened to us several times, down to our last $100 or so dollars and something we had listed sells, boom, money for the next 6 months just like that.

Maybe that is why I still feel peaceful about everything going on. My mom is a worrier so I have always been the opposite of that, worrying doesn't help. Worrying is bad energy.

The picture I put in this post is one I found somewhere on the internet. I am not necessarily a religious person, I don't go to church or belong to any organized religion. If I had to choose a path to follow it would probably be along the Buddhist lines but I like this picture. I like the imagery, a talisman of faith on a road to who knows where. Just what is needed this Monday morning.