You can't always get what you want

It occured to me that I could probably name every post I do either a Stone's song name or lyric. There is really no shortage of material there.

I am doing better, especially after my big ugly day a few days ago. We seem to be on the mend although 9 days of solid flu in our house has really wrecked everyone. Now that we seem to be healing and I write this blog nodding in and out after waking up no less than 4 times last night to nurse Har baby, I have absolutely 100% decided it is time to start weaning.

I have felt this way on and off since the time a few months ago that I made cookies and Har, cookie in hand, made his way over to me and pulled up my shirt and decided to add some milk to his snack. Um, too much information? Sorry. Anyway, I looked down at him and thought "Buddy, your days with this are numbered."

The problem was I couldn't manage it then, or maybe I wasn't really ready. It was still snowing quite a few days and still flu season, Har is woefully behind on immunizations since we lost our health care (President. O- please fix this!) and I wanted to keep nursing him through the snow and flu season. Well, that totally backfired because due to my lack of sleep my immunity is shot and Har got sick anyway.

I am so sick of not getting a full night's sleep. I could be such a better mom if I slept. Having fun! Baking! Running around! Firm voice instead of screaming time outs! I do manage most of those things but it is only due to the magic of coffee. I want to sleep. I want my bed back, um our bed back. If Har slept I could keep nursing him but not sleeping and still nursing is hand in hand for him, so I begin.

17 months, such a stubborn age. He is just finding his voice for what he wants. He hates bottles, he also hates cow milk. I need a plan, and I may have to do the geeky former Admin Assistant thing that I would do for our Sales Reps, a spreadsheet.

They say to cut out one feeding a day, I decided to start with all feedings between his favorite 10 am one and any before 4pm. Just writing that I see how hard this going to be. I feel I am ready though, he will probably never be so I just got to do it.

I need to power through the stress of his crying. Maybe I should take up meditation, that might help. Or medication, I could have titled this post "Mother's Little Helper".

Other than that E took Dust for a very special father and son day, sitting on the tractors at the Hardware store. There is nothing Dust cares about more right now than hanging with his hero so hopefully they will both come back in a good mood. As for me and Har, operation W has begun.